Waking up in a hospital bed focuses one’s attention. “What happened?” “How did I get here?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Will I recover?”
On a Sunday in early January, my wife and I were hit head-on by a large, heavy pickup truck. Our car was destroyed. I had to be cut out of what remained. She and I were taken to the hospital in critical condition. Doctors were not certain I would live. Recovery will be long.
At the beginning of 2019, I wrote in my prayer journal, “Lord, increase my faith.”¹ This request has been answered in a thousand times since the crash. The answers began with a simple conversation in my mind:
Q: Do you still believe in God?
A: I do.
Q: Did He know this would happen?
A: He did.
Q: What is your response?
A: God is in control.
When we say “I believe in God” (the first four word of the Apostles’ Creed) we acknowledge that God is. He is real. Not all men and women acknowledge that, of course—so the first step for you and me is to decide if God real. “I believe in God.” Few words. Many consequences.
If God does exist—and if He is loving, all-knowing, and all-powerful—then when bad things happen we are forced to face the existential question Job faced: “Why did this happen?” In most cases, the answer doesn’t come quickly, if at all.
That’s when we must say, “God is in control.” If He exists and He is a loving God, then we can only say like Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.”²
The Christian’s everyday life is the “amen” to “I believe.”³
One last thought: please don’t interpret this post in the way I would have as a child—i.e., if you surrender yourself to God, something bad will happen to test your faith. For example, I remember thinking, “If I surrender myself to be a missionary, God might send me some place I’m scared to go.” God doesn’t do that. Yet, even if we are to be tested, He goes through the testing with us.
He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him, and show him my salvation. —Psalm 91:15-16
“Lord, increase our faith!”
² Job 13:15 (KJV). For many years as a child and young adult, I studied and memorized scripture from the King James Version. In some instances, this verse being one such case, the language is so transcendent and grace-filled, I still prefer the KJV.
³ Summarizing and paraphrasing paragraph 1064 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.